Some people say that God created the world in 6 days.

This is wrong.

Others seem to think that it’s all because some infinitely dense cosmic egg blew up like Nagasaki and we’re the aftermath.

This is also wrong.

The world was created exactly 5024 years ago (that’s 3016 B.C. for all those who can’t do math), in exactly 3 hours and 23 minutes, by Tom.

Tom works for Genesis Co.

He creates worlds.

To date, Tom has created exactly 23 worlds, all of them successful.

All of them, that is, except for this one.

He had been approached by his boss (for our purposes, we’ll call him Boss) and was asked to create a world to test out a prototype for the OZONE, or Over Zenith Of New Earthlings. Before the creation of the OZONE, creatures had to be created that could withstand the large amounts of radiation delivered by their stars. The OZONE took care of that.

So Tom started with the basic layout for a planet built to sustain life. Land, liquid seas (he was using water for this one), an atmosphere plus OZONE, a single moon and a heavy metal core. Give it a medium-sized sun to orbit around and there you have it, a world fit for living. Just add life.

It started out so simple. What could go wrong?

That’s where we come in. It all started when Tom decided to make a species of primates, the Homo sapiens, the dominate species of the planet.

Fast forward about 5000 years and we find Tom in Boss’s office, giving his fifth millennium report. It wasn’t going so well.

“What do you mean ‘things are going badly’?”

“It seems like that the primates are destroying the OZONE layer we installed.”

“Well that’s just fantastic. Stupid primates. Do they have any chance of changing?”

“I believe not, sir.”

“Then you are under orders to terminate project Earth.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tom went back to his cubicle and pulled out the clear cube that held Earth from inside his drawer. He spent about 15 minutes looking for the Little Red Button that would destroy the planet. He finally found and pushed it, filling the cube with a blinding white light. It finally receded, leaving nothing in the box. He then stood up, and put it in the bin with all the other empty boxes. Tom went back to his cubicle and went back to work, checking on all his other boxes and writing a report on each one. All of them were doing great. At 5 pm, he got up, packed his things and left, stopping by the local tavern before heading home to his wife, never giving Earth a second thought.

-END-

And by the way, dinosaurs never really existed. They were thought up by Tom to give us something to do. Same with evolution. Sorry, Darwin.