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She walked down her street after coming back from a last minute band practice before their
first concert. She was playing air drums and could here every perfect beat in her head.

“Here it is the big solo.” She thought as she closed her eyes. It was a flying combination of sixteenth notes to combat the bass’s triplets. Then…

Light.

And pain.

Excruciating pain.

Inexplicable pain.

Pain that made her wish she were dead.

--

She woke up to the rising sun casting long shadows down her street. She didn’t hurt, in fact, she felt great. She tried to remember how she ended up on the ground but couldn’t. She stood up and began to walk down the road to her house. She tried to think up a good excuse to tell her mom, “No way will she believe the truth. ‘Oh yeah mom, I’m late because I fell on the ground and can’t remember why.’ Maybe I’ll just say the rehearsal went late and I crashed at Jaycee’s and just came home. Yeah, that works.” She smiled as she approached her door, pleased with her lie. She reached for the door knob but grabbed nothing but air. She frowned and tried again. Still nothing. “Odd… guess I can't see straight. Maybe I really did get hurt when I fell. I better go to the hospital. I bet they can explain to me and my parents what’s going on.” She started for the hospital. She was halfway down her street when she realized her drumsticks were still in the road. Cursing, she turned back for them. Just then, a car drove over them, smashing the wood into tiny splinters. She swore at the retreating car. She was half way to the hospital when she realized it was her parents’ car. When she arrived at the hospital, she saw her parents’ car in the parking lot. “Oh, crap… I am SO dead.” She went in and spotted her parent talking to a doctor. Her mother had been crying and her father hadn’t shaved. “Were they out looking for me…?” she thought as she hid behind a potted tree and tried to listen in on their conversation. The doctor shook his head and said something that looked like “I’m sorry.” and her mother buried her face into her father’s chest and started to cry. Her father put his arms around her and hid his face in her hair. The doctor led them down a corridor. She snuck out from behind the plant and followed her parents. The doctor opened a door and ushered them inside. She wondered why her parents were going into that room. Then it clicked. “GRANDPA!! HE HAD ANOTHER HEART ATTACK!” She thought, panicked. They must be here for him. No wonder her parents were distraught, her grandpa was dying and they couldn’t find their daughter. She ran into the room after her parents and stopped in front of the bed. There, surrounded by tubes and wires, laid someone other than her grandpa. She walked toward the bed slowly, not comprehending what was lying in the bed, dying. She heard the doctor pull her father aside as her mother sank into a chair, head in her hands. “Your daughter has significant brain damage so we have her in a drugged induced coma. She’s in a vegetative state and isn’t responding to stimuli. She’s on life support and a respirator but won't recover. We want your permission to pull the plug.” Her father nodded and went back to hold his wife. She looked up, panicked. “MOM, DAD, I’M RIGHT HERE!!  DON’T DO IT!!” she shouted, trying to get their attention. “I DON’T WANT TO DIE!! PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME!! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE ME!?” She cried and wrapped her arms around herself, confused about what was going on. The doctor pushed a button and the machines powered down and the monitor stopped its beeping. And she looked on as she slowly faded away.
©2008-2009 ~Melusedek
:iconmelusedek:

Author's Comments

I might edit this and make it better. I doubt I will because I'm lazy, and I have so much on my mind, and I'll never get around to it, blah blah blah. But you get what you get, and you got this.

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:iconethan-irkel-yeager:
I just got to reading it now. It's a very interesting idea, but you need more detail. Add sights, sounds, smells, etc. and perhaps thoughts to distract the reader; this will give the reader more of a shock when he or she realizes what is actually going on. Perhaps you should make it clearer WHY the main character has "significant brain damage." You know, beef it up. Yum, beefy. If you make it long enough to be a short story, maybe you could enter it in the writing contest.
:iconmelusedek:
Thanks. I've been trying to think of things to make it better and I really appretiate the advice.

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August 4, 2008
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